First Only Different

I know that I said my next entry would be about a movie. However, I remember also mentioning I would be talking about Shonda Rhimes, often. This is a Shonda week or as I crack a small smirk while saying it in my head, its Rhime(s) Time! I am not yet reviewing her magnificent book “Year of Yes” but will mention some of its context in this review.

First, let me explain FOD. Shonda talks about being an FOD, First Only Different, in her book. It’s about being the First to breakthrough barriers and crush the stigmas. Being different than what you “should” be. Shonda is 100% television’s FOD.

This past episode of Grey’s Anatomy, Shonda’s first TV baby, revolved around DACA, or The Dreamers. And yes, I understand it’s a television show, and there are lots of juicy bits of drama. I am not naïve to think that everything on TV is true to the core, I mean Shonda is old and she likes to lie (She said this, not my words)! But the underlying issue of the show is real. One of the interns is a Dreamer. She has a work visa and is in the country that she grew up in since age 2. She was brought into this country by her parents. She had no control in this and was an innocent child.

This intern went to school and was first in her class, all of them, high school, college and med school. She was not in an alley somewhere shooting up drugs or sitting on a couch sucking up state/federal benefits. Now, the show’s story goes to explain that if Dreamers don’t break the law, then they are here legally under current DACA provisions. In the show, the intern is being questioned because she ran a red light (technically breaking the law). Perhaps that was a bit dramatized, perhaps not. I’ve seen many questionable videos on Facebook with ICE doing things they shouldn’t be, so maybe the red light isn’t as dramatic as you’d think.

Whether you are right wing or left wing, you are going to stay firm in your beliefs. That’s your prerogative. My point of this is not to sway you one way or the other, but that Shonda is truly a fierce FOD. Shonda has proven that NOTHING IS OFF LIMITS in her scripts. Leading Female, Check. Black Leading Female, Check. Gay/Lesbian/Bi Leads, Check. Strong Christian Lead, Check. Strong Atheist Lead, Check. Cover topics that include things such as; Police Brutality, Racism, Transgender, Religion, and yes, Immigration. CHECK CHECK CHECK!

This lady OWNS Thursday nights on ABC! Three shows on a 3 hour block. It's unimaginable for most television creators/writers. Shonda Rhimes is doing something right! She is the epitome of FOD. 

Shonda is not afraid to venture somewhere that may be considered risky or taboo. She keeps current with the world and tells the story that some, either disbelieve or even more unfortunately so, are living.

Shonda talks about how she wanted to be Toni Morrison. Then, one day she realized that she couldn’t be Toni Morrison because Toni Morrison was already being Toni Morrison. So, I thank Shonda for that lesson. I don’t want to be Shonda Rhimes, because there is already a Shonda Rhimes. But I aspire for the same bravery and creativity that she beholds.

Should. Must.

I have been thinking about what my first “review” was going to be. I thought about talking about Grey's Anatomy and realized I just have to much to say to fit into one entry so I will figure out a better way to do that sometime soon. I then thought I would write about “Call Me by Your Name”. However, I have about an hour left of the book and would like to do a full comparison of book to film. Finally, it came to me. I am going to talk about the book that helped me discover my passions. I spoke about “The Crossroads of Should” and Must by Elle Luna in my first entry for this blog but I would like to take a little more time talking about it.

I am generally not intrigued by self-help or soul-searching types of books at all. I would loosely categorize this book as a self-help. It certainly isn't your traditional self-help. This book follows a story of how Elle Luna quit working her day job to follow her passion for art, and how she came to know that she MUST do that. There are so many important messages for this book that I'd love to share but I want you to go out and buy this book and see for yourself!

Throughout the book I felt like I developed a personal relationship with Elle. In order to hear her messages and receive her wisdom, you must allow yourself to be open, honest and vulnerable. There are several exercises she uses for you to do self-reflecting. At first I was hesitant but after rereading this book over 6 times, I've done them all over and over and have learned much about myself.

There are two things I am going to share with you and leave the rest of this masterpiece untold. Firstly, Must and Should are very much like Need and Want. I am sure we have all gone grocery shopping and thought about our budget and said to ourselves “I guess I don't really NEED this item, I just WANT it.” Then we are left to decided which matters more, Need or Want. Well in the same light, things we do in our life, things we value, things we do or do not do, are classified in SHOULD and MUST.

“Must is different.”

“Must is who we are, what we believe, and what we do when we are alone with our truest, most authentic self. It's that which calls to us most deeply. It's our convictions, our passions, our deepest held urgers and desires – unavoidable, undeniable, and inexplicable. Unlike Should, Must doesn't accept compromises.”

Elle Luna- The Crossroads of Should and Must Page 31

Are you working a job you don't like? Are you ignoring the sounds of passion? Are you trying to find your purpose? Are you unsure of whats next in your life? This book helps you with all of those questions. I know some people may think they might be too old or too young to make a certain change. This brings me to the second thing I'd like to share. Elle has 2 pages devoted to explaining how people in there 20's, 30's 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's, 90's and even 100's "made it", in the perspective age bracket. She explains Julia Childs didn't make it until her 40's and how John Glenn became the oldest person to go into space when he was 77. No matter what age you are, this book can help you!

** I do not own any rights to the text from Elle Luna's  The Crossroads of Should and Must. I am in no way affiliated with Elle Luna or Workman Publishing Co. Inc. and do not make money from promoting the book. **